Ranting review: Alone by Falling in Reverse

So looking at what's new on the hard rock charts just because I'm curious when I find this band sitting at #8. I wish I could like popular music again but people make it so hard for me :'( The latest entry of popular metal bands that just don't impress me is Falling in Reverse with their song "alone".

It wasn't a horrible idea to try mixing screamo, dub-step and club rap but failing to do any of them well becomes painful to listen to.

Lyrically speaking, a rapped verse with the rap cliches bragging being cool and having skills and money moving to a feeble growled pre chorus of threats fallowed by a monotone chorus about friends and never wanting to be alone it's just so.... pathetic. And finally, the lame visual tropes of big money as seen by helicopter ride to ware house (Stryper did almost the same video 30 years ago) and back off I'm a bad ass rock star fashion of a Skrilllex hair do proudly displaying a fully tattooed scalp while do the "L" to the forehead grrrrrrrr. Every thing about this is screams contrived, cliche and weak.

It's the weak part that irritates me the most. If I had to draw a parallel do one of my high school generation it would be Limp Bizkit. The thing is you could apply all these criticisms to them 10 years ago except the weak part. Limp bizkit at least had energy and some attitude. Falling in reverse on the other hand is too repressed to be energetic anthem, too polished to be reckless rock song, too abrasive to have any mass appeal and too disingenuous to connect to emotionally.

Long story short (too late), I really can't find one redeemable quality here. Every body, the lesson is clear. Stop listening, watching, sharing and buying. Let this band die!!! We can't see better metal music chart if we let this type of band thrive.

Exaggeration, hyperbole and just plain over dramatic!

One day walking into the kitchen, I see my old roommate Jose wiping down the counter. He says to me “This counter is disgusting!” And my first thought is “Is it really that bad?”

People, seem to use such extreme language for common, mundane and ofter inconsequential events. I, for one, am starting to get annoyed with it. Not enraged or furious, just annoyed. When people exaggerate deliberately it's called lying but people speaking with phrases like “the best ever” and “you won't believe” have become the standard mode of communication. No deception is intended, but the true nature of the matter is over stated.

Why do I what this to change? I think that these vivid words have been abused and have lost the responsive value they use to have. If we choose to use more appropriate language for every given situation as oppose to the big, dramatic over the top style that's become so common to us, we'd have a better grasp of degrees of emotion.

I have a hard time deciding what is the appropriate level of emotional response to most things I'm unfamiliar with. The worst of these is with love. I've had a few conversations about the range of emotions involved in different states and depths of relationships. One frequent piece of advise I've been given is to control and not be controlled by my emotions. That's difficult to achieve when you feel verbally assaulted with harsh language that would make a marriage councilors “trigger words” list.

The other reason I care about correct language is because I love the many shapes and forms and colors that human emotion comes in. There so little depth in extreme language if it's the only form of description you use. When some one posts about waking up late for work, then locking their keys in the car, the phrase “worst day ever” will come up. When I think about my worst day ever it's probably the day my grandmother died. See the difference? I want every body to express themselves but there needs some standard of proportion for any of it to have an effect.

Sound track for love.

"You move like I want to. To see like your eyes do"-Deftones

  The virginity song. It's an older concept but the phrase I had just stumbled on to today. The song you were listening to/thinking of the first time you had sex. Or for those of us who still hold their v-cards what song would you want as a theme to that particular event. The point is nostalgia and an inference of your feelings at the time. Plus, a sound track for our lives needs a fitting song, even the most intimate parts.

For me, still having yet to cross that thresh hold, the song I would like to hear would be “Digital Bath” by the Deftones. If your familiar with it, you know the song (and half of the whole White Pony album) is directly about sex,. Unlike the songs Fur elisia (kidnapping), Stay (necrophilia), Change (new found freedom in sex, drugs and partying corrupting you) and Passenger (exhibitionism) there is more then just sexual desire in the subject matter. There are elements both lyrically and tonally which demonstrate enchantment with the woman, expressing how she's different and she effects everything happening around her in a fascinating way. The one line chorus “tonight I feel like more” isn't subtle, but it doesn't need to be. You hear passion, desire, magic and even a little sadness in this song. You could call it sensual more than sexual. It doesn't get vulgar or forceful even at the full crescendo and the ending is like an exhale after holding a short breath.

  For my more personal reasons to pick this song, the album came out right around that first year of puberty. Not the best time of my life but it was the period where I started establishing my musical preference and by extension, my identity. In 6^th and 7^th grade, most days I would come home, go to my room, put my head phones on and listen to music. Some times for hours, just laying there listening. White Pony was one of the first albums I had, most of the time I listened to the radio, and there was a point where I knew every note of every song except for “Pink Maggot” the last song which cut of because it was a boot-leg copy. It became the sound track for sneaking cigarettes, ditching classes, skateboarding and of course preteen fantasies. As an adult, a lot of the elements of those days have soured or just faded but “Digital Bath” is still a fawned, treasured and slightly missed piece of my growing up.

Demon Hunter at the Norva Part 1

   Spring break, as a child, was a welcome relief to the gray, cold winters. As an adult taking night classes after work, spring break actually through me off my groove. I still had my regular work schedule, so none of the standard college road trips. With half of my classes being art classes, I actually look forward to school and spring break put a snag in my momentum.

   The only thing I really looked forward to during spring break was one of my favorite bands, Demon Hunter, was in town on a day I usually have class. It fit into my schedule almost as perfectly as a week night concert possibly could. Doors opened at the same time class normally starts. The venue is also located on the same city block as my campus so I even got to use my student parking pass to go to the show. It would let out later then class does but I decided to play that by ear as to when would call it a night.

   The full line up of extreme metal bands included: Battle Cross, All Shall Perish, Demon Hunter and headliners In Flames. A more aggressive, fast paced and hard driving line would be difficult to find. Of these bands I know almost every DH song by heart but have only listened to In Flames once and had never heard of the two openers. As a fan of music I've made it a point to see the opening acts even if I'm unfamiliar with them before hand. It's probably there best way to discover new music in a genre you already enjoy.

   These opening bands did not disappoint. Deciding to take a leisurely paced dinner unlike my usual rush to get to class, I enter the room after Battle Cross's set had already started. The state of a crowd during the opening act is almost always sparse so it was easy to walk to the near-front of the house. It wasn't empty thought which lead me to hope for a big crowd later on, and with that, a more active show.

   So imagine the bands disappointment with a decent turn out of a crowd all just standing there. Rock shows are all about audience participation, the crowd starts grooving and bouncing to the music, the band reciprocates that energy by by getting crazier on stage bringing the whole room together. Getting a high level of musical immersion is the whole point of paying to see a show and the crowd had seemed to be ignorant of that. Battle Cross wasn't having it but didn't give up without a fight. Their closing song “Push Pull Destroy” was and absolute shredder, with the high light being the fast paced base lead which was pasted to one guitarist, then the other with out hitches or pulling punches. If the crowd was going to remain unresponsive, it wouldn't be for lack of trying on their part.

Christian dating and why it's not working

In response to 10 Lies Christians Believe About Interacting With the Opposite Sex

www.huffingtonpost.com

After reading this a few friends of mine had a short debate on facebook on how true or valid the points that were made are. Many points were good but I found the article as a whole to be incredibly one sided and presumptuous. The female author's board generalizations of reasons behind man's motives I found slated. She made no real comment on how the church, society or women effected these problems but the tone on Christian men's short comings was almost accusatory. “Stop being scared or indecisive or lazy or whatever it is ”. How encouraging does that sound? In her cry for men to take action, author Courtney Gabrielson both missed and re-enforced the biggest problem young men are getting today: pressure.

Expectations have always been a burden for both men a women to bear. However, what those expectations are for women, is vastly different for men. I won't say these expectations don't apply to both genders but the focus is clearly not the same. This is especially true within the church. The focus for women is to “be”, as in “be beautiful inside and out”, “be a supportive wife” or “be a loving mother”. The male focus is to “do” as in “lead your wife”, “provide for your family” and “defend the gospel”. Gender roles are deeply ingrained into our culture and our faith. As the world at large is changing and with it the roles we play in it, not being able to adapt our expectations is a major cause of this back lass.

A word that has been throw around in churches but has never been well defined or illustrated first hand for me is “courtship”. The concept arose from old practices of arranged marriages. The idea would be that after a women reached marring age, her parents would arrange meetings with eligible suitors. These meetings would be supervised or monitored so it often took place in the courtyard. After these meetings had concluded, the bride would select he preferred suitor and then the formal engagement would begin. This is the model that Christian dating is based on.

In the old model, men and women both understood the procedure. As men being given the call to take action, there's also a voice in the back of the mind saying “you better not screw it up!”. Men only had so many chances to impress the lady before she was off the market, so each shot was for all the marbles. The pressure of first meeting her parents preset standards, then the cost of gifts, travel and any other factors that would call for a successful wooing all possibly came down to one meeting. This model is completely different from modern dating yet we keep many of the same traditions and procedures and attempt to apply it to a modern mindset. This is what I see most times when I ask a girl out. I see a woman whom I barely know, do everything I can to try and impress her and a whole potential future is riding on it.

Of course this isn't how we should do things in the 21^st century, right? Well then, how should we do it? A major problem has been our treatment of dating and sex within the church. Church is great about covering marriage.. The problem with the treatment of sex is 90% of what you hear about it is “NOT TILL YOUR MARRIED!!!!!” and even after marriage, “only with your spouse!!!” and that's it. The church has a bad tendency to treat dating young dating couples as if they were already married except of course, no sex. That leads to a ton of pressure to behave in a marriage like fashion long before it's appropriate or even healthy. In my 15 years of attending sermons, Sunday school and bible study, I've heard a total of one teaching on what a healthy dating relationship looks like. We have no structure to go off of, no procedures to fallow but we still have that pressure of win her now or lose her forever.

But wait, why does it have to be this all or nothing approach? Can't we get to know each other, maybe become friends before moving on to love and romance. If only it could be that simple. Getting to know somebody would actually be ideal if there wasn't that confusing, awkward and terrifyingly soul baring attempt to transition from friend to “more then friends”. The friends first method lead to the most painful rejection of my entire life. I confessed my love and she simply didn't feel the same. She was very kind and caring in letting me down easy and genuinely hoped to still be friends after that but that just didn't work (it rarely does). In the end, we had neither the romantic relationship I hoped for, nor the close friendship we had before hand.

Being upfront about romantic intentions always feels forceful, overbearing and desperate. The other end of the spectrum is the dreaded “friend zone”. Having spent time with a girl, spent money on meals and activities and thinking that your growing close for her to one day say she met somebody, will knock a guy off his feet. This usually makes us angry and bitter. Thinking that we were doing everything right then being passed over brings up feelings of betrayal, inadequacy and self doubt often to the point of questioning our self worth.

An interesting point author Gabrielson made was about men ignoring or being stand-offish toward women. She purposed the motive was “trying to guard our (woman’s) hearts” but also “because of the passivity and indecision of Christian men”. The guarding of the heart isn't one directional. Ever time I avoided a girl that I liked was because I wasn't prepare to take my shot. Being afraid of rejection is a very pervasive feeling and approaching a girl with intent usual requires a bunch of mental preparation. When trying to impress a girl, every word feels likes it's being graded so if we're not bringing our A game, we try to get out of there, quick.

An observation that I made on this article was that it was written by a woman and originally posted on the woman’s support site goodwomenproject.com but all the calls to action were directed at men. In my response, I want to be as constructive as possible as a man writing main to women. Here are a few of my idea's as to how you can help us solve this dilemma:

1. Ask the guy out. I'm serious. If any girl I was even remotely interested in asked me out for lunch or a cup of coffee I would immediately take her up on the offer. Men have pretty much the same insecurities, doubts and fears that woman do so being approached could be the difference between trying and giving up hope altogether. This doesn't mean you have to all the perusing either, just enough to get the ball rolling.
2. Make it clear that you are interested. Subtlety sounds great, but how far has it gotten us? The romantic notion of mystery is just that, a romantic notion. Not being direct usually just leads to more confusion and that's half the problem. I in no way mean this perversely but the reason male animals fight over the females is because they can smell that they're in heat.
3. If you want a mature dating experience, behave like an adult. If you want a playful dating experience, be playful. This isn't a course of the relationship rule, it's a tone setter. The first date or two sets want your standard behavior will be. Any avoiding or stopping tonal confusion just makes life easier.
4. Break traditions but don't break faith. Quite simply, if the same old thing isn't working it needs to be changed. I'm open to new idea's and as long as they don't conflict with the two great commandments, to love God and to love each other, it may be worth a try. We need a new way to relate to one another and the all or nothing mentality I've had drilled into my skull has lead me to a lot of heart ache. Wouldn't it be great if I and every man like me could believe it second chances and wasn't terrified of romantic failure. I know I have to fix my issues but fixing this broken dating system would help us all.

And for a final thought, for both men and women, try not to force it. I was talking to a art classmate last week and she mentioned that her husband doesn't get art at all. “How'd he end up with you then?” I asked and very matter of factly she responded “Well, we fell in love”. The pressure of expectation, the fear of rejection and the sad prospect living the rest of our lives alone. All these things are making us desperate. If we loosed up, trusted in God and just did our best maybe we all could simply fall in love.

Didn't find the “G thing” very appealing

 Rap is still a pretty small world for me. I've branch beyond just liking one or two songs but my favorite artists focus on more alternative genres that add rap and hip hop elements into their mix. Hoping to expand my knowledge and hopefully my appreciation of rap I decided to listen to Dr. Dre's 1992 release”The Chronic. This album has often been called a “game changer” and an “essential” for Dre's introduction of the G funk style. It was also said to glorify the gangster life style. My memories of this album come from hearing it boom out of low riders as they cruised up and down my street it the mid 90's.

My reaction was not “man it feels good to be a gangsta”. I admit that songs like “Let me ride” and “Nothin' but a G thing” are fun, catchy songs but, most of the album is in the vain of “Rat-tat-tat-tat's” “never afraid to put a n@#$%^ on his back”. Most telling is the second verse to “Lil ghetto boy” where he talks about getting out on parole and getting shot. The humorous skits were more childish then funny. Over all the album hard a harsh, mean tone that I didn't find to be much fun. I guess gangster rap is just outside of my tastes.

 

“The poetry is so pure when we are on the floor together” Gnarls Barkley

Last week in honor of Valentine’s day I have posted a play list of my favorite love songs on face book. The list consisted of: Gnarls Barkley's “Last time”, Alanis Morsette's “Head over feet” and Jim Croce's “I'll have to say I love you in a song”. It had got me thinking as to what made these songs my favorite.

Mainly, the common tread is the conversational tone that each song is written in. Each is like a poetic excerpt from an actual talk between a couple. The second person pronouns like “I”, “you” and “we” conveys a very personal feel. There's also an appeal to each songs simple, genuine phrases like “what I've got to say can't wait, I know you'd understand” or “you're so much braver then I give you credit for”. They make the story sound real even if the context my be sensationalized.

For a love song to work, it has to be personal and intimate. If it's gonna tug on your heart strings, it has to feel real. That's the word that sums up my favorite love songs; real.  

Imagine me Emu

"Imagine me Emu, Emu and me, so happy together" Happy together(slightly altered) from the Turtles

 Taking off work early to go to the zoo in the middle of winter is a unique experience. It's mainly that there is nobody else there. An empty park has the draw back of having no one to talk to about what you seeing and none of the side attractions, like snack shacks and tour guides, that your use to seeing. What it offers, however, is some of the animals paying as much attention to you as you are to them.

 The Emu's were the most active as I approached their enclosure. A pair of the world's second largest birds fallowing me around is an odd type of fun. Sadly, my poor photography skills lead to pictures of fence posts, not birds. All the problems I had with the camera I borrowed  lead to me missing the best photo opp I day all day in the giraffe house.

 The high light of my day was walking into the giraffe enclosure and meeting Billy whom happens to be the tallest living creature in north america. He approached the window I was at and began rubbing his head against the plexiglass. Seeing an animal with a head the size of my upper body mere inches away was a humbling and awesome moment.

 I'd like to think of myself as Tarzan or the Jungle Book's Mowgli living and playing with these animals. It doesn't happen much on a day to day basis so these zoo moments are special.

New school, young teachers?

 “I think of all the education that I've missed, but then my homework was never quite like this. I've got it bad, got it bad, got it bad! I'm hot for teacher” Van Halen.

I found it odd that both of the classes I'm taking this semester are being taught by 30 something year old professors. This doesn't concern me that they may not have adequate knowledge and experience to properly educate. Nor do I doubt their ability to manage an authoritative position amongst adults. As far as first impressions go, I'll probably learn a lot from these two. It's really for my own sake that it's kinda weird.

I'm used to teachers in their late 40's to mid 60's and with a small amount of exceptions it has always been that way. Elementary through high school, I was closer to the age of my teacher's children or grandchildren then the teacher's themselves. The thought of us being into the same music, viewing similar events at similar life stages or being in the same social circles is foreign to me. There's also a real possibility that I know things they don't. Not just personal things but genuinely relevant knowledge. I feel like the dynamic may yield some interesting fruit, jury's still out as to weather that's a good or bad thing.

The final cherry on this sundae of new learning experience is that one of my professors (not you Professor Howell, sorry) is distractingly attractive! My only fear with that is the possibility of me pouring molten hot glass on myself if my eye's veer off course at the wrong time. Wish me luck at learning and not sustaining injury over the semester!

All the world's a musical

 "This is the tale of Mr. Johnson. Mr. Johnson is who. He is the subject of the sentence and what the predicate says Mr. Johnson must do." from School House Rock (slightly edited). I spent the vast amount of my life listening to music and applying it to random events that seem relevant at the time. In class, this gives me something to work with when I have no idea what to say. I was raised in a very musically focused family and it was normal for any or all people to being singing at any given moment. The comment "all the world's a musical" was often repeated when guests were over giving us confused or bewildered looks. Now as an adult, my roommates, coworkers and girlfriends have all had to hear this story as an explanation to this odd behavior.